The Phases of My Shopping Trips

I love going to stores where I can buy things to better my living space (think Ikea or HomeGoods). Unfortunately every trip pretty much goes the same. 

I walk into the store, figuratively bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. What treasures will I find today?



I immediately get overwhelmed. What treasures WILL I find today?

I don't know


I quickly become interested in items that are out of my price range. 


I wander around for awhile trying to find things that are less expensive that can serve a similar purpose as the things that were too expensive. 

I end up with small knick-knacks, like candles. And candle holders. 

A baby somewhere starts crying loudly. "Stupid baby," I think to myself. 

 See what I did there?

See what I did there?

I start thinking about babies. If I think that baby is stupid, how can I be ready to have one in a few years? They cry all the time. I start questioning my character. If I don't like crying babies, am I not "mom" material? 

Tuning out the whiney baby, I continue to wander and WONDER. ABOUT LIFE. What do I really need? My basic needs are met. I have food, shelter, clothing, water...

I start to get hungry and loopy. I drag my feet when this happens.

How long have I been here?

Where did I come from? Where am I going?

I need to buy these stupid knick-knacks and get the heck outta dodge. I get to the front of the store with my dumb candles. The line is too long. Crap. I end up leaving the store empty handed. 


Sitting in my car outside the store, gnawing on a piece of beef jerky, I curse the store and swear that I will never return. But I will, and I do.